she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my sisters under your porch take her home
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
