i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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