from now on my penis is your penis
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
