I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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