It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think your dad took our porno
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
