Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
