So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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