...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
where does the pee come out of this thing
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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