Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
