Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
