OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm both gender and math confused
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