hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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