Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
A bitchslap is in order.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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