So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
