just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
