he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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