I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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