Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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