Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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