"it" just moved
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
