Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
