She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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