I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
