why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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