Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
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My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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