Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
