so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize