Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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