my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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