rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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