There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
