i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
