Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
