I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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