Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize