I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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