OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
