Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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