Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
