Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
