Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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