And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize