I'm laying in your front yard are you home
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
