I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize