Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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