He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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