do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
