I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
