honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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