So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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