I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
