he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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