You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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