bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
