Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
