it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
