so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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