I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
