My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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