and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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