They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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